In Bed With… Kaneez Surka

Kaneez Surka has been changing the face of Indian comedy, specifically improv, since her arrival on the scene a decade ago. An active mind, constantly editing and creating new material, feeds her vivacious personality. 

Off stage, in her Bandra bedroom, the noise fades and she is most at ease. She lets us in, describing Pancake Sundays, deep sleep and a blossoming interest in tarot:

What keeps you up at night?
Checking my phone, a habit I want to break. I cannot sleep until I bathe and wash the day off me. 

Nighttime routine
I burn a candle before bed, drink a glass of water, apply a lavender-chamomile roll-on balm on my pulse points, and play music on Calm, which puts me to sleep immediately. 

What do you like to sleep in?
A loose-ish T-shirt and boy shorts. Too loose, it gets stuck in places and annoys me.

What gets you out of bed every morning?
My cats! I have to wake up to feed them or they start walking on my face. 

In Bed With… Kaneez Surka

 Photo credit: Rema Chaudhary

“I need to shower before bed… and I can’t sleep next to anyone. I cuddle but I can’t fall asleep in somebody’s arms.”

Favourite activity in bed?
I want to say sex but that would be a lie. Binge-watching shows and masturbating.

The last show you binge-watched…

Midnight snack?
Anything cheesy and crunchy.

 In Bed With… Kaneez Surka

 Photo credit: Rema Chaudhary

Do’s and don’ts of making your bed
I like my bed neat like a hotel room – I hate when my bedsheet ruffles up. Before bed, I tightly tuck them in.

Describe your dream bed…
I spent a lot of money on a quilt mattress which I love. The setting would be airy with good light, and plenty of muslin.

A typical Sunday morning…
Chilling on the couch, no interaction with people, although I do love Pancake Sundays with friends.

On work/life balance:
I don’t think I have it because everything is potentially a premise for a joke. But I’ve started exercising thrice a week, take a weekly day off for myself and fit in an Ayurvedic retreat when I can.

In Bed With… Kaneez Surka

Photo credit: Rema Chaudhary

“I don’t have problems falling asleep. I dream, and 85% of the time, feel rested when I wake up.”

What do you miss most about South Africa?
The slower pace. I love India, but sometimes it can be fast and chaotic, especially Bombay. 

Alternate life path?
Maybe psychology. The human condition fascinates me. My therapy sessions are like a “101 on Kaneez Surka’s mind”. I’ve also been doing tarot readings recently, which are pretty accurate even with UNO cards. Fortune telling might have been on the cards.


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